The waiting

So day 3 of our 4 day scheduled "must do the do" days didn't happen because two of our friends stopped by and hung out drinking and talking until 2am and spent the night. I never quite got a chance to steal the hubby for 10 minutes. But i wasn't too bummed out coz day 4 happened at like 10 am instead of the usual 10pm so that sort of felt like i couldn't have missed much by missing day 3... fast forward to today, 2 days after day 4, i woke up feeling very sore in my lower abdomen. Not quite the cramp that comes with your period and not even painful enough to be called a cramp, but more discomfort, the kind of soreness that comes with not exercising for like 2 months and then doing 100 sit ups at once. So you guessed right, this soreness got me excited and worried at the same time, i turned to my latest best friend - the Internet to google : "abdominal pain 3 days after ovulation", and boy did i find food for my excitement, till i felt like i could no longer sit still. I must have read about 40 entries on 15 different blogs and websites, all saying they felt cramping or soreness from like day 2 after ovulation, that ranged from sharp pains to very mild pains and 90% said when they took pregnancy tests a week later, it was positive. I am overjoyed with this possibility. My hubby insist that i put my planning, and excitement in check so that when i do take a test, if it turns out negative, i don't end up crazily disappointed. Good thing is i have never been afraid of disappointment, i have never let the uncertainty of getting disappointed stop me from living and loving my current state of excitement and fully enjoying everything the moment has to offer me, and boy am i excited today! So excited infact that i refused to take an advil or any pain killers (big deal because i have the lowest pain tolerance of anyone i know), instead i choose to fully feel and experience everything positive that can come from making alex, including pain, infact i welcome such pain.

Anyway so now comes my least favorite part, the waiting. most home pregnancy test like the early response test claim to be able to detect the pregnancy hormone HCG, with about 60% accuracy as early as 5 days before your missed period, which would be July 30th for me (exactly 8 days from today). But wait, I will. In previous months, this week has been the hardest, i usually buy and take at least 3 or 4 tests before the day i really should be taking the test, and after every negative test, i smile and tell myself "its only negative coz i took it too early, ill try again tomorrow", lol... i usually carry on this way until my period comes to kick me back to reality. Lord knows the makers of pregnancy tests owe me some frequent flier miles or something. Anyways this month though, i will try to wait till July 30th. Ill pass the next 8 days, doing more research, planning how i would break the news to hubby and fam when that positive test finally gets here, it has to be something cute and funny, and of course, just praying and waiting on God. Ill try to drink lots of water this week, not miss a day of my prenatal vitamins (one a day prenatal) which i started taking like two months ago, and i guess just really trying to enjoy my week at work, and with friends and with my hubby. wish me luck!

ovulation calendar

I have spent a few weeks of down time rearching as much as i can about the baby making process, its amazing how much information is out there. I even downloaded a couple free pregancy apps on my iphone (more like 8 diferent ones to be exact), the "what to expect when you are expecting" app is by far my fave. these apps are very helpful with giving you baby making and raising tips on a daily basis, educating you on whats going on with your body and your eggs and your baby, calculating your ovulation days and proceeding due date if you do conceive in any given month etc pretty cool stuff - food for the soon to be pregant womans soul, and music to my ears. That said from when i decided a few months ago that i was ready to be a mommy i started keeping track of my monthly cycle, at first i thought it was very irrigular ( i got off the pill in september last year) but after keeping track, i realize there was a little method to the madness that was my period, and on average i have a 32 day cycle, long than most people but not abnormal in anyway. Then using the ovulation calendar on http://www.babycenter.com/ (my fave "everything baby" website that i visit religiously everyday) i figured out my most fertile 4 day window every month. then came the tricky part, educating my hubby on the 24hr life span of my egg after ovulation, the 48 to 72 hr life span of his sperms after ejaculation, and the importance of perfect timing and taking into conderation both life spans. getting out of his head the idea that baby making is simple and easy and doesnt need to be planned if both partners are healthy etc was like pulling teeth, still work in progress, but im allowing me to schedule 4 "must do the do" days around my ovulation is a first step.

anyways we are currently on day 3 of the 4 day session i scheduled with him for this month. I should have ovulated yesterday or today. and i get to take a home pregnancy text after July 30th (in 2 weeks), my next period should be here August 3rd if we have been unsuccessful. I plan to pray hard and daily for the next 2 weeks, there is no way God can ignore that much begging and whinning, if only for the principle.

misunderstood

so seeing that i currently eat and breathe "wanting a baby", its all i have been talking about lately. Almost anyone who knows my name at this point, knows that i am ready to be a mom and that my husband and i are actively trying. While some people tend to be a little secretive about the "trying" process and even up to the end of the first trimester, i find it therapeutic to share and vent and plan out loud. its always much better when someone else knows, especially if they genuinely have your best interest at heart. Anyway recently i have been a little annoyed with my friends and even my hubby. The popular line these days seems to be "stop stressing" or "just relax" or "you have only just started trying, whats the hurry, some people try for a year and more before they succeed"... well first i am not stressed and its annoying hearing people tell you to calm down when you are already calm. its annoying when i want to talk about my ideas for a baby name or my ovulation calendar and someone responds with "creepy" or "you have everything planned out, don't you?" or "i don't know why you stress so much". in the end i feel utterly misunderstood. what i see as raw passion, others see as stressing, what i see as longing, others see as impatience. After a while i find it safer to plan, and hope and pray and long and plot in the privacy of my head and not talk about it as much anymore. Not because the trying isn't fun or because my wanting has diminished or my excitement has dampened, but because in sharing with close ones, i no longer get the comfort and understanding and healthy curiosity i looked for, instead i get pity, unsolicited advice and just sheer annoying misunderstandings.

About my blog...

I guess I should start with explaining the name choice of my blog and why I chose to start blogging in the first place. For the past two years or a little more, I have been in what I call the "rapidly maturing" phase of my life. I was ready to get engaged, get married, get a house, get more sure footed at my job, and most importantly be a mommy. In the past two years I have done all the above except have a baby. My hubby and I got married on may 26th 2012. Since he is also on the same baby page as I am we started trying for a baby in may. It's been about 2 months now and we are still working on the "trying". In all my research which I will def blog about in more detail, I found that during this "trying" time, it is not advisable to stress about it or stress your spouse out either, so I decided a healthier way to channel all my anxiety and excitement and dissappointment and stress etc would be to blog about it. Also for some inexplicable reason or maybe its because I lost my mother at age 4 during her 2nd childbirth and have always wanted to mother another little girl so she never has to go through some of the emotions I went through, or simply because I have two adorable younger half sisters and think girls are more fun than boys, I desperately want a daughter. Since my hubby's English name is Alex, and I think Alex short for Alexandra is a very strong name for a girl (oh my daughter will be a bit of a Tom boy like her mommy- i hope), we decided to name our first daughter Alexandra and her middle name will be Stella after my late mother. #pausingtosuckinair#. So that's how come decided to name this blog as I did and to start blogging in the first place. Hopefully Alex can read this some day. Also given that when you ask for Oranges life sometimes gives you apples, i am prepared to have a son, and i know i would love him and want him just as much as if we got a daughter. In the end it doesnt really matter what we get, i just want lovely, healthy children, 3 or 4! so even though i am hoping for a girl named Alex, ill be just as overjoyed with a boy named david, and yes this blog will always be called "Making Alex" as Alex to me stands for the entire process, the waiting, the praying, the hoping, the trying, the dissapointment, then the joy, the stress and pain, then the miracle of a child in my arms, the childs first steps and first words, my challenges with pregnancy then motherhood, juggling marriage, kids, family and career while still making time for me. etc... all of it begins with Makin Alex...